So this is a topic that is likely to ruffle some feathers and may even offend some people, but it is one of my biggest pet peeves and something that gets really under my skin this time of year. So I need to talk about it because it’s absolutely 100% related to child safety…and that is the forcing of children on Santa’s lap when they are not comfortable and scared.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I think for some it’s a fantastic tradition. If your kids are okay with it and you’re approaching it in a safe way, your child feels safe and is totally on board, then that’s different.
What I’m talking about are the parents and caregivers that force their child onto a stranger’s lap while they scream and cry and reach out. And we leave them there and all laugh and then post it to social media so that others can laugh at their expense too. Not only is this just not funny in any way, but it can be extremely traumatic for some children. As parents and caregivers, we should be teaching our children from day one about consent, what that means, setting boundaries, and everything surrounding that. And when you take a child and you force them to sit on a stranger’s lap without their consent, when they are clearly scared or even just apprehensive, that is telling them that consent doesn’t matter, that their feelings don’t matter and that you are not willing to protect them when they’re uncomfortable with somebody else touching them. Not only are you unwilling to protect them in that situation, but you’re actually forcing them into that situation!
Think about what that does to their concept of consent, self-empowerment, and of boundaries. It erodes all of that. How can you later tell them that they have the right to tell other people when they don’t want to be touched? Or that they don’t have to hug or kiss or sit on the lap of other people when you force them to do it with Santa.
They have a right to say no…even to Santa and you should be expected to respect their decision, no matter their age, no matter how much you want that photo and no matter how much of a tradition it has been for your family. What they say goes. It is their choice
Even if they’re too young to verbally tell you that they’re uncomfortable and they don’t want to do this. Watch their body language and their actions and please act accordingly. Don’t force them to do something they’re uncomfortable with.
For some reason, people think that because this is a tradition and because it’s Santa, it’s different and it’s not we need to do better!
