By “H”, Age 16

(To the reader: This is an emotional piece written by a brave and courageous young woman. Please know that she is now with people who love her beyond words and she is safe. “H”’s story is in her own words and has not been edited or altered in any way.)

When you think of father daughter relationship what comes to mind? Love? Strength? Kindness? Unwavering protection?

All those are good things, right?

Well when I think of a father daughter relationship I think of hatred, hurt, violated, disrespect, and most of all anger. Those feelings are normal for me. When I was 11 and 12 my biological father started looking at me in a different way. A way that most people would consider inappropriate.

For me I never had a relationship with a father figure, I was thrown from parent to parent growing up so never had a stable environment with parents and when my biological father came and got me from the town I was raised, I didn’t know what a father daughter relationship was, my biological father started doing things to me that were inappropriate, it went on for a while about five to six months, at first I didn’t tell anyone because I thought that no one would believe me.

I mean who would think that my own biological father could ever do such imaginable things.

It took me a while to tell my grandparents about what happened between my bio father and me, I was so confused and hurt by what he did to me he damaged all of the relationships with men I had in my life.

I don’t trust men anymore.

I feel hesitant every time I am approached by a male to this day, and I still deal with those struggles. I had to be strong for myself at such a young age.

I didn’t get to experience the things that kids should be able to do. I think I truly missed out on a lot of childhood memories because of me having to worry about those sick things that men could do to young girls.

When I finally told my grandma first, I told her before I told anyone else in the family mainly because she is a woman and I felt more secure talking to her, for me it was a moment of security for once I felt so safe that this person wouldn’t hurt me or not believe me I truly felt like I could tell her anything and she would do anything for me to help me through it.

Telling her but probably the hardest thing, I didn’t want her to look at me differently and I felt that maybe she won’t love me anymore, by telling her what is the step in trying to solve the problem that I had for such a long time, and it was a relief, being able to tell someone was probably the one thing the aloud me to conquer my emotions and issues about what happened.

Writing this is also probably the hardest thing you know I can’t get half of the page without crying, there are still a lot of emotions towards what happened. I think I’m getting to that age where I have to use it in a way that could help people.

I’ve lived with this for years I’ve been through all the emotions that come with it and I just hope that by me telling my story another girl or boy won’t be afraid to tell their story. this is not something to be ashamed of. it’s not your fault I’ve been told that so many times, and at the beginning I thought it was I thought that I was doing something that was causing these things to happen to me by my own biological father.

I think for me personally, at this point of the situation I don’t have anyone to really connect with on that level. you know I do have amazing parents’ grandparents, and my uncle they have helped me through so much.

But, I think I’m just looking for and outlet to speak about this and know that it’s reaching someone that is going through or has gone through the same thing that I’ve been through. I think one of the biggest things that are generation could do is to stick together through these things not to be so closed off about these issues that sadly are recurring problems in our society.

We are not these young kids anymore I turn 18 in less than two years and it’s time for me to be strong and get through these struggles, and try to make a difference in another young adults’ life’s

*If you or someone you know has been sexually abused or assaulted please know that IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT and TELL SOMEONE.

*In an emergency call 911 or contact your local police department.

*Childhelp National Abuse Hotline- 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)- this hotline is staffed 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, with professional crisis counselors who have access to a database of 55,000 emergency, social service, and support resources. All calls are anonymous.

*National Sexual Assault Hotline-800.656. HOPE (4673)

21 COMMENTS

  1. You are so brave to share your story and to serve as a source of hope and encouragement to other kids who need to hear this. Kudos and many hugs to you.

  2. I admire your strength & wisdom, as a young woman. You deserve to feel safe & loved. What he did was NOT your fault. Please know that there are good, kind, safe people in this world & adults you don’t even know, who would fiercely protect you. ❤️

  3. I love her words so much; she speaks courage and kindness and patience, quite a feat considering what she’s been through. 👏

  4. Thank you, H, for telling your story and being so courageous. I’m amazed by your strength. And so glad you have found a safe space and have family support. Know that this is a long road for all of us as #survivors and we will keep fighting to be heard, and believed. You are seen, heard, and believed.

  5. Thank you for sharing this. You are so brave. You are not what happened to you. The world is yours. You can accomplish anything you choose. God Bless your Grandmother for being there for you. We all could use someone like that in our corner.

  6. Thank you so much for sharing. Your bravery is sharing this is a gift to so many others that are going through similar situations and have yet to find their voice and their way out.

  7. Thank you for telling your story. I hope that you continue to heal. Childhood abuse is absolutely horrible. It sounds like you have a great support group. And from personal experience I can tell you that it was not your fault.

  8. I am incredibly proud of you, even though I do not know you. You suffered unexcusable abuse in the hands of a man who was supposed to protect you.

    I am so terribly sorry that this happened to you. It was NOT your fault! I am so happy you had the courage to tell your grandmother so that you became safe again! I wish you strength and the return of the ability to trust people. The latter will be a difficult journey, but take one step at a time, talk with the ones who keep you safe when concerns arise.

    Your future is what you make of it! You are NOT defined by the acts that were done to you, but by the bravery of surviving, the will to live despite the hurt and the strength of character you have. Love yourself, you are an admirable young woman.

    P.S. Sometimes the best revenge is to live a happy life, to have not let your past rob you of the future! Virtual hugs to you!

  9. You are so brave and strong and WISE!!! I also experienced childhood sexual abuse and didn’t tell until I was in my early 30’s, and only because I needed to explain why I wouldn’t let anyone come to my wedding because I couldn’t do it if I had to look at him. I am so glad you told. I am so glad you are sharing your truth! There is healing on the other side. Find your tribe. We are part of your tribe. You are amazing and will not let him steal your adulthood. When you hit 18 there is an amazing free resort for survivors, but in the meantime there are wonderful resources on the Youniquefoundation.org site. We are better together. Hugs!

  10. Dear H, I admire your bravery and courage for speaking up, and get your experience out there to help others. Please never feel alone. Not only there are many people who have gone through similar experiences and can relate to yours, but more importantly, our world is becoming more aware of the magnitude of this problem. It may look as if things won’t change, but they are, slowly but surely. It is our responsibility to you and other victims to keep this conversation front and center. May the force be with you❤️

  11. Speak your truths and grow towards the sun! Let it out of your heart, for the hurt is a shadow and you can leave that behind you. When you help others you heal too. Good luck on healing and finding trust in humanity again. We are here for you.

  12. I am so sorry this happened to you . You are a brave and courageous young lady for sharing your story and speaking up. It was not your fault. You are helping anyone else going through similar situations by sharing.

  13. Thank you H for your courage. I know it couldn’t have been easy for you to write these words, let alone share them. Courage is also contagious and yours will be multiplied, as I am sure you are inspiring others to tell their own truths and stand up for themselves. Brava!!

  14. Your bravery and courage are inspiring. Thank you for sharing your story and helping others who likely feel so isolated know they have support and are loved.

  15. This is so incredibly powerful. I am in awe of your strength and courage. As someone who works with people to whom this has happened, I will tell you that you are a survivor. You are so much more than your trauma. Your view of life may be changed but your capacity to love and experience life can be boundless if you let it. I wish you all the best and pray for healing and a lifetime of good things ahead for you.

  16. Thank you for sharing your story H. I am so sorry this happened to you. It is not your fault and you are not alone. The path to healing can be long and hard and can have bumps along the way, but you will keep moving forward. I wish you healing and strength.

  17. Thank you for your courage to speak up as many may not
    I m so sorry for what you had to go through but through your courage you can help stop it for someone else

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